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Four Years Later - Part Duex
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Ahhh..sorry bout that. I was at work...and had a certain D to the evon looking over my shoulder. So five years. Do you KNOW what can happen in five years?! I'll tell ya: alot.
I think...I went through a time period where I was kind of bi-polar. I mean...some of those entries I was just so angry...so upset..and then the next day I'd be happy as pie. It was actually kind of disturbing to read some of them. It's funny because the years of 03-07 were my college years...as I went through them. Ya know...it's easy to forget alot of those memories. I'm actually really happy I did keep writing while I did. My memory of the past...was that I didn't get a lot of 'play' (if you will). But reading back...seems like I did pretty well for myself. It's funny reading about Nina...because I still talk to her. Not like...talk talk...but still occasionally chat via facebook or text. Since she came into town and cheated on her fiance with me...she has gone through two *other* fiances...and actually got hitched about a week ago to Linda. I haven't met Linda, but I hear good things about her. I am genuinely happy for her...hope things work out well...she's a good kid. Also reading back...I said some really mean things about Jenn. Like...called her a horrible bitch and all kinds of other things. We also still talk. She is engaged to some dude that she clearly isn't happy with, proven by the fact that she messed around with me in 2009. We still flirt every time we see each other...but she hasn't changed much. She is still about having alllllllll the control and I've been over that for a super long time. I laugh at the fact that I used to do "Jenn Reports." Like was I *really* that into her?!? Craziness man...pure craziness. Again...good kid...but she really needs to figure out her shit. I think probably the most awesome part of rereading all of this, is how friggin INTO I get into these women. Every time it's end all be all for me, and takes me forever to get over them. Which is kind of comforting, because I was fucking head over heels for this woman Paula in 2008. And I'm still not over it. Not entirely at any rate, and currently...in my head...no one will ever compare to her. But apparently I have thought that many times before. I just wonder if...adult love is different than kid/college love. Cuz it was pretty intense. That...will be saved for another day tho. Lol...it's a long story. I just realized...when I started writing in this thing..'lol' was not even part of our language. Crazy right?! Something else that cracked me up was all the comments about being bi. I realize at the time I 100% believed that I was....but now looking back I know it was just a transitional phase. I was never into guys...just thought I was because that's what society said was normal. You are raised to meet a dude, get married, have babies...etc. Thank god that's not how it is today...times are a changin'. Slowly but surely my 'kind' are more and more accepted. New York actually legalized gay marriage...not civil unions...gay MARRIAGE the other day...making it the 6th state to do so. But I digress. Wasn't ever bi...just took me a while to realize that. I am now...an out and proud lesbian woman...seeking for love. Still in all the wrong places. Such is life tho. I also have an A.W.E.S.O.M.E. dog...named Gabriel...aka Gabe. He was born October 22nd, 2009. So he's just about a year and a half old right now. He is a cava-poo (cavalier king charles spaniel/poodle) and is 10.2 pounds of fury! For real...he is one of the great loves of my life. He is...without a dog..An awesome dog that I love with every part of my being. One other thing on my mind...I'm no longer friends with nearly all the people I used to be friends with. Ashley...Deanna...Anthony...Andy...Kelly: cut em all out of my life. And I think the next couple entries will be dedicated to explaining why. I am happy to report that Jeni and I (not to be confused with Jenn <--- made me laugh that I used to say that too). Thank god too because we have tattoos together. She is getting married to a dude named Joey in October. And I lovvvvvvvvvve him. He's completely opposite of any guy she's ever dated...and I just couldn't be happy for the both of em. I am going to be her maid of honor, so I'm pretty pumped about that. I never thought our friendship would be where it's at today. Again...prolly will type a whole entry to that as well. I think I'm going to start writing in here again. Being able to look back at all those years...is just incredible to me. Im so grateful for the person that I am today...and I can't wait to see who I am ten years from now. So expect to see lots more in the future. LATER |
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11:43 p.m. || 2011-07-02 |
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Four Years Later - Part Duex - 2011-07-02 |